Boogie Boarding

I have this friend...um, let's call her Itaintme. Itaintme used to love the water when we were growing up. She would spend most of her days and half the evenings at the beach in Virginia. The waters were so crystal blue, salty, and full of adventure. She was intrigued by the scantily dressed people with buff bodies, seemingly perfectly toned skin, and perfect hair.

Well, one day Itaintme gets invited to go boogie boarding with some classmates. She dresses in this little bitty colorful bathing suit. The suit was really form fitting...tight on the buttocks and chest areas. The girl was too fly....she even had the matching shower shoes. You couldn't tell her nothin. If you told Itaintme she wasn't fine you would have had to beat that chick down.

She was strutting to the beach...boogie board in hand. She gets out on the water and catches her first wave. She stands up and she is pleasantly surprised at how good she is with her balance. She decides to graduate on to surfing. She asks her friend for his surfboard...he tried to convince her that she wasn't ready to surf, but she insisted. He gives in and lets Itaintme have his surfboard. She wades out and catches her first wave....wooooo she's doing a fantastic job. The wave crashes on her and she goes down, but not hard. Itaintme resurfaces with a look of discontent on her face. She can barely swim to shore. She is screaming and yelling ... in pain. Her friends check her body, but they don't see anything that could be hurting her. Finally, she is able to get a word out and tell them that whatever it is in her bathing suit. They look and in the crack of her butt there is a jelly fish lodged and it is stinging the crap out of her...literally. Her classmates undress her to see exactly how many stingers are lodged in her butt. She is bottomless and full of isht on the beach in front of errbody and the beach is full. She is in so much pain she could care less. Her friend had to remove the jelly fish and apply chewing tobacco to the crack of her butt to relieve the sting. Itaintme had to ride face down in the bed of the truck to the hospital because it hurt too bad to sit. She was given some meds at the hospital and released. She has a tiny physical scar on her butt to remind her of the incident, but the pain of being naked with a jelly fish lodged in her crack and being in need of a diaper will never leave.

Moral to the story... no matter how tight/fitted your outfit may be there is always room for jelly.