Certain things

There are certain things that there is not any nice way to say to a person. There are nice ways of telling someone that they have something in their nose, they have toilet paper on their shoe, or breath may not be so fresh, but there is no real nice way to tell someone that their parent may be a crackhead, or that their daughter is a slut, or that their boyfriend is a bum.

I have encountered several of these situations in the last few weeks and as blunt as I am with telling things like it is...I find it hard to hurt peoples feelings when deep truths are concerned. I have a friend and her mother is married to a crack abuser. The man stays gone for days when he gets money and he has admitted to having a problem and this was before she married the man. Her mom is and has been well aware of the problem for quite some time before the marriage even took place, but her mom chose to move forward with the marriage. She is totally upset that her mother continues in this relationship with a known drug abuser. So, how do I tell this chick without hurting her feelings that I do believe that her momma is sucking on the crack pipe as well. Do I say, "Your momma is Ms. Tyrone Biggums." How do I say this without coming off as trying to be crass other than saying, "Your momma is making some crackhead decisions." or "Your momma is practicing crackhead logic." or "Is being a crackhead contagious because your mom is showing symptoms of crackhead-itis?" The subject is so tough and touchy.

I know this older man and he has a teenage daughter and this child is out of control. He thinks that shes a princess, but in reality the child is a hooker....well I take that back hookers get paid she's just giving it away for free. The girl has no standards all a man has to have is a pulse and some lips and she's staking claim and giving up the yanni. She has had sex with her dad's best friend, some family friends, some coworkers, and few stray men here and there and the child is only seventeen. The dad is out fighting and getting into trouble trying to protect something that has been auctioned to the highest bidder many moons ago. I told him that new yanni is like money to men... If you sit a new yanni in front of a man he's going to snatch it up just like money. The man is not going to ask about any birthdays or the legality of the yanni just like he wouldn't ask about if the money is legal. They just take it and run....so goes her innocence. I told him not to let his sanity leave with her innocence. It is totally obvious that his child is a slut. I know that it was harsh, but the man is about to lose everything trying to go to court to get lawyers to sue. He was upset and talking to me about it, so I have the cruel harsh reality to him as easy as I could make it.

The bum boyfriend is a bit easier for me to just say because I have no feelings for losers. My friend is in a relationship with a bum and I wish she would just wake up and let it go, but she hasn't. I listened to her cry about her problems with him and at first I would offer advice then that seemed not to work. I started just listening and only offering support and a listening ear, but no advice. After a few months of this same episode; my nerves were stretched to the maximum limit. I finally had to tell her that she was dealing with a bum. I told her that unless she wanted better for herself there was nothing that complaining to me was going to do about changing the situation. She has to have the resolve within herself to see that this fool ain't worth the salt in his bread. Well I solved two problems with my rant. I opened her eyes up to the complaining attitude that wasn't changing anything...and I freed up some of my daytime minutes on my cell phone because she stopped calling so often.


How do you say things without hurting feelings? Sometimes there is no way to say these things without hurting the ones you love. The truth does indeed hurt, but should be told to give clarity to the stupid situations that we put ourselves in and continue to put up with. I hope that I have friends that will tell me the truth. I might get a little huffy, but I know its out of love. Maybe that truth will give us a chance to bond even closer because I will appreciate the fact that you loved me enough to tell me the whole truth and nothing, but the truth.

Thanks

Suga